You feel your relationship has lost its spark. So, how do you bring it back? If only there was an easy-breezy formula that worked for all couples, but I’ll tell you this…
There is ONE initial step you need to take — I don’t care how far apart you and your partner have drifted — that may truly get the spark back and start afresh.
No reason to cut to the chase…
The very 1st step to bring back that spark into your relationship is to remember how you made them feel.
Not what/how they made YOU feel. Capiche?
This is about what you made them feel in the beginning. That time, perhaps long ago, when they opened up to you; you hung on every word; you were genuinely interested and excited to learn more about them.
See, it’s a misconception to think that good relationships:
- just happen
- are a coincidence
- don’t take a lot of work
As I often say, love is an action verb — not necessarily a feeling.
And connected couples learn that they have to dedicate themselves to making those connections with each other.
That they have to spend time and focused attention trying to figure out how to make the other person feel:
- desired
- safe
- close
- respected
- adored
So, there it is. My step one:
How you made him or her feel back in the day.
And sure, I know this may sound lousy and you might be thinking,
- “Chalene, I’m doing all these things and he’s just ignoring me.”
- “She just wants nothing to do with me.”
- “I don’t know, my relationship feels unrepairable.”
Don’t worry, in the podcast below, I’ll break down what to do when you feel like you’ve tried everything.
But for the sake of this blog, I’m asking you to really consider how you can make them feel through the continued exploration of each other.
Trust me, there are still things you need to get to know about your partner. I don’t care if you’ve been married for 35 years or together for just three months. It doesn’t matter — there’s still more for you to…
- learn about
- explore in
- discover with
… your partner.
Happy couples understand that they have to continually pursue the exploration of each other and new things together.
Check out The Chalene Show episode below for much more related to this topic, including:
- What are the 5 Love Languages and how you need to incorporate them into your relationship
- The reason, most of the time, someone in a relationship feels disconnected
- The evolution in my marriage — from stressful communication to happily ever after
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly episodes dedicated to getting your overall life right!
