For this episode, my wonderful husband Bret took over and provided listeners with some tips on how to support your partner when they’re starting a new business. I’ve always been so lucky to have Bret’s support and he offered some great insight into the process of being a loving and supportive spouse. Here was his advice:
Five Tips for Helping Your Spouse When They’re Starting a New Business:
1) Ask your spouse, “What would be helpful right now?”
Starting a business is hard and sometimes it can be difficult for someone to ask for everything they need. One way to help them would be to simply ASK them what would be the most helpful at this moment. It might not mean you have to do anything actively with them – it can mean they need quiet or some room to get something done. Other times they might need help packing their bags for a trip. Either way, they will be so appreciative that you took the time to check in with their needs.
2) Be patient.
It is tempting to ask all kinds of questions, “When will we make money?” or “How is this helping us?” – but, if you trust your spouse, then you trust that they know what it takes. Your spouse already has enough on their plate without having to defend all of their decisions to you. Place your trust in them and focus on the areas of your life that will have a positive impact on their success. (Which leads us to our next tip…)
3) Be positive.
If your spouse is having a bad day, the best thing you can do is to be positive. If they decide to share their struggles with you, then they don’t need you being negative. They’re coming to you for some help. Sometimes that means they want suggestions on how to move forward and sometimes they just need someone to listen while they vent. Either way, just focus on the positive – that’s so important.
4) Be supportive of your spouse in public.
There are going to be so many times when you’re out in public with your spouse and someone will ask, “Hey! How’s that business of yours going?” It’s really important that you make a point to highlight your spouse’s specific achievements. Be proud and brag about anything and everything – especially the hard fought victories; something you know your spouse worked hard on that might not get the recognition that it deserves. They will feel so supportive to hear you acknowledge their effort like that.
5) Communicate.
It’s important that your spouse feels comfortable coming to you with successes and failures. If you’re following steps 1 – 4, then this should be easy. But, again, starting a business is hard and taxing enough, don’t make sharing feelings overly difficult. Just speak openly and use these conversations to put things in perspective and to grow.
Bonus tip: Remember, you’re on the same team.
You can’t let your own insecurities or fears get in the way of your partner’s success. Sometimes, when our partner is taking the lead on the business, it can be difficult to understand our own feelings and then communicate them with your partner. If you don’t express these feelings to your spouse, then they’ll definitely FEEL the problem, but they won’t be able to help you. Again, it’s super important that you evaluate why you feel upset or insecure and then talk it through – everybody will feel much better!
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