How to Change Someone

I congratulate you, actually for listening to this podcast because I do believe it is a way to improve yourself even though we are talking about how to get somebody else to change. I’m going to do a bit of a bait and switch in this program and teach you that the best way to get somebody to change really is to perhaps change your approach. At least your way of thinking about it.

The principles I’m going to share in this brief podcast are really going to apply no matter who you’re dealing with, whether it’s your teenage daughter, the annoying guy who works in the cubicle next to you, your sister or your significant other. But before we go further, I want you to know this, it does take work. And in fact, the more valuable the relationship, the more important it is that you work for these things to happen, and that work needs to be placed on you. Quite frankly, that’s how you’re going to make real changes, just by tweaking the way you approach the people you care about.

So is it possible to actually change someone and if so, what’s the best way to get somebody to make changes, not just for you but for themselves. How do you get somebody else to act differently, behave and think differently, and to have different habits, different beliefs? And why is it that you want them to change?

I think you probably know it’s almost impossible to change someone who doesn’t want to change. And even if the result of their behavior and their attitude is something negative, like they’re losing friends and it’s impacting them in a negative way but there’s still something about their behavior and their attitude that serves them.

I don’t think anyone has the power to change another individual who doesn’t want change. But hold on, don’t lose hope. Obviously, I’m going to share with you some solutions. These are things I’ve put into practice in my own life and most importantly, I’m going to share with you tips and best practices that I’ve learned from the clients and people I’ve coached over the last 20 years.

I want you to know it is very possible. But what is possible is creating the environment. The right situation so that people who are important to you actually want to change. They want to do the work themselves.

Discussed in this episode:

  • How to approach someone correctly about change.
  • How to inspire someone to change.
  • Change from someone has to start with you. You have to want change in their life for their benefit, not for yours. bb09
  • The other person must be open to change. It’s important to understand that the habits and behaviors that you think should change are how this individual controls situations in their life. So by asking them to change that habit or behavior, you are asking them to give up control; which can be a very hard thing to do.
  • It’s important to look at yourself and your approach when you want someone to change.
  • Do not take it personally when someone exhibits a behavior or habit that you think should be changed; this most likely stems from an early life experience and doesn’t have to do with you.

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