Lies We Tell Ourselves | James Altucher and How to Say “No” to Everything But You

James Altucher is somebody who prides himself on honesty – both being honest with those around him and, more importantly, being honest with himself. This commitment to the truth has helped him become a successful businessperson, blogger, and podcast host (The James Altucher Show). Chalene and James speak very openly about the struggles of figuring out what’s best for you and how to move forward. In addition to James’ success and his honesty… he’s just a nice guy who you’re going to love.

James AltucherMeet James: Four or five years ago, a reader of some of my columns bought the domain name jamesaltucher.com and gave it to me as a birthday gift. It was a total surprise to me. I didn’t even know the reader. I hope one day we meet.

Two years ago a friend of mine, Tim Sykes, insisted I had to have a blog. He set it up for me. He even wrote the “About Me”. I didn’t want a blog. I had nothing to say. But about 6 or 7 months ago I decided I wanted to take this blog seriously. I kept putting off changing the “About Me” which was no longer really about me and maybe never was.

A few weeks ago I did a chapter in one of the books in Seth Godin’s “The Domino Project”. The book is out and called “No Idling”. Mohit Pawar organized it (here’s Mohit’s blog) and sent me a bunch of questions recently. It’s intended to be an interview on his blog but I hope Mohit forgives me because I want to use it as my new “About Me” also.

1. You are a trader, investor, writer, and entrepreneur? Which of these roles you enjoy the most and why?

When I first moved to New York City in 1994 I wanted to be everything to everyone. I had spent the six years prior to that writing a bunch of unpublished novels and unpublished short stories. I must’ve sent out 100s of stories to literary journals. I got form rejections from every publisher, journal, and agent I sent my novels and stories to.

Now, in 1994, everything was possible. The money was in NYC. Media was here. I lived in my 10×10 room and pulled suits out of a garbage bag every morning but it didn’t matter…the internet was revving up and I knew how to build a website. One of the few in the city. My sister warned me though: nobody here is your friend. Everybody wants something.

And I wanted something. I wanted the fleeting feelings of success, for the first time ever, in order to feel better about myself. I wanted a girl next to me. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/04/my-dating-techniques-in-1996/ I wanted to build and sell companies and finally prove to everyone I was the smartest. I wanted to do a TV show. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2010/12/the_best_job_ever/ I wanted to write books. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/02/why-i-write-books-even-though-ive-lost-money-on-every-book-ive-written/

But everything involved having a master. Clients. Employers. Investors. Publishers. The market (the deadliest master of all). Employees. I was a slave to everyone for so many years. And the more shackles I had on, the lonelier I got.

Much of the time, even when I had those moments of success, I didn’t know how to turn it into a better life. I felt ugly and then later, I felt stupid when I would let the success dribble away down the sink.

I love writing because every now and then that ugliness turns into honesty. When I write, I’m only a slave to myself. When I do all of those other things you ask about, I’m a slave to everyone else.

Some links:

33 Unusual Tips to Being a Better Writer http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/03/33-unusual-tips-to-being-a-better-writer/

“The Tooth”
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/04/the-tooth/

(one of my favorite posts on my blog)

2. What inspires you to get up and start working/writing every day?

The other day I had breakfast with a fascinating guy who had just sold a piece of his fund of funds. He told me what “fracking” was and how the US was going to be a major oil player again. We spoke for two hours about a wide range of topics, including what happens when we can finally implant a google chip in our brains.

After that I had to go onto NPR because I firmly believe that in one important respect we are degenerating as a country – we are graduating a generation of indentured servants who will spend 50 years or more paying down their student debt rather than starting companies and curing cancer. So maybe I made a difference.

Then I had lunch with a guy I hadn’t seen in ten years. In those ten years he had gone to jail and now I was finally taking the time to forgive him for something he never did to me. I felt bad I hadn’t helped him when he was at his low point. Then I came home and watched my kid play clarinet at her school. Then I read until I fell asleep. Today I did nothing but write. Both days inspired me.

It also inspires me that I’m being asked these questions. Whenever anyone asks me to do anything I’m infinitely grateful. Why me? I feel lucky. I like it when someone cares what I think. I’ll write and do things as long as anyone cares. I honestly probably wouldn’t write if nobody cared. I don’t have enough humility for that, I’m ashamed to admit.

3. What is your book “Choose Yourself” about?

The world is changing. Markets have crashed. Jobs have disappeared. Industries have been disrupted and are being remade before our eyes. Everything we aspired to for “security,” everything we thought was “safe,” no longer is: College. Employment. Retirement. Government. It’s all crumbling down. In every part of society, the middlemen are being pushed out of the picture. No longer is someone coming to hire you, to invest in your company, to sign you, to pick you. It’s on you to make the most important decision in your life: Choose Yourself.

New tools and economic forces have emerged to make it possible for individuals to create art, make millions of dollars and change the world without “help.” More and more opportunities are rising out of the ashes of the broken system to generate real inward success (personal happiness and health) and outward success (fulfilling work and wealth).

This book will teach you to do just that. With dozens of case studies, interviews and examples–including the author, investor and entrepreneur James Altucher’s own heartbreaking and inspiring story–Choose Yourself illuminates your personal path to building a bright, new world out of the wreckage of the old.

Related link: Why I Write Books Even Though I’ve Lost Money On Every Book I’ve Ever Written

4. Is it possible to accelerate success? If yes, how?

Yes, and it’s the only way I know actually to achieve success. Its by following the Daily Practice I outline in this post:

It’s the only way I know to exercise every muscle from the inside of you to the outside of you. I firmly believe that happiness starts with that practice.

5. You say that discipline, persistence and psychology are important if one has to achieve success. How can one work on improving “psychology” part?

Success doesn’t really mean anything. People want to be happy in a harsh and unforgiving world. It’s very difficult. We’re so lucky most of us live in countries without major wars. Our kids aren’t getting killed by random gunfire. We all have cell phones. We all can communicate with each other on the Internet. We have Google to catalog every piece of information in history! We are so amazingly lucky already.

How can it be I was so lucky to be born into such a body? In New York City of all places? Just by being born in such a way on this planet was an amazing success.

So what else is there? The fact is that most of us, including me, have a hard time being happy with such ready-made success. We quickly adapt and want so much more out of life. It’s not wars or disease that kill us. It’s the minor inconveniences that add up in life. It’s the times we feel slighted or betrayed. Or even slightly betrayed. Or overcharged. Or we miss a train. Or it’s raining today. Or the dishwasher doesn’t work. Or the supermarket doesn’t have the food we like. We forget how good the snow tasted when we were kids. Now we want gourmet food at every meal.

Taking a step back, doing the Daily Practice I outline in the question above. For me, the results of that bring me happiness. That’s success. Today. And hopefully tomorrow.

6. You advocate not sending kids to college. What if kids grow up and then blame their parents about not letting them get a college education?

I went to one of my kid’s music recitals yesterday. She was happy to see me. I hugged her afterwards. She played “the star wars theme” on the clarinet. I wish I could’ve played that for my parents. My other daughter has a dance recital in a few weeks. I tried to give her tips but she laughed at me. I was quite the breakdancer in my youth.The nerdiest breakdancer on the planet. http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2010/12/breakdancing_universe/ I want to be present for them. To love them. To let them always know that in their own dark moments, they know I will listen to them. I love them. Even when they cry and don’t always agree with me. Even when they laugh at me because sometimes I act like a clown.

Later, if they want to blame me for anything at all then I will still love them. That’s my “what if”.

Two posts:

I want my daughters to be lesbians
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/i-want-my-daughters-to-be-lesbians/

Advice I want to give my daughters
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2010/12/advice-i-want-to-tell-my-daughters/

7. Four of your favorite posts from The Altucher Confidential.

As soon as I publish a post I get scared to death. Is it good? Will people re-tweet? Will one part of the audience of this blog like it at the expense of another part of the audience. Will I get Facebook Likes? I have to stop clinging to these things but you also need to respect the audience. I don’t know. It’s a little bit confusing to me. I don’t have the confidence of a real writer yet.

Here are four of my favorites.

How I screwed Yasser Arafat out of $2mm (and lost another $100mm in the process)
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/01/how-i-screwed-yasser-arafat-out-of-2mm-and-lost-100mm-in-the-process/

It’s Your Fault:
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/05/its-your-fault/

I’m Guilty of Torturing Women
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/01/im-guilty-of-torture/

The Girl Whose Name Was a Curse
http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2010/12/girl-with-the-name-that-was-a-curse/

Although these three are favorites I really don’t post anything unless it’s my favorite of that moment.

8. 3 must-read books for aspiring entrepreneurs?

The key in an entrepreneur book: you want to learn business. You want to learn how to honestly communicate with your customers. You want to stand out.

The Essays of Warren Buffett by Lawrence Cunningham

“The Thank you Economy” by Gary Vaynerchuk

“Purple cow” by Seth Godin

9. I love your writing, so do so many others out there. Who are your favorite writers?

“Jesus’s Son” by Denis Johnson is the best collection of short stories ever written. I’m afraid I really don’t like his novels though.

“Tangents” by M. Prado. A beautiful series of graphic stories about relationships.

Other writers: Miranda July, Ariel Leve, Mary Gaitskill, Charles Bukowski, Celine, Sam Lipsyte, William Vollmann, Raymond Carver. Arthur Nersesian. Stephen Dubner.

Many writers are only really good storytellers. Most writers come out of a cardboard factory MFA system and lack a real voice. A real voice is where every word exposes ten levels of hypocrisy in the world and brings us all the way back to see reality. The writers above have their own voices, their own pains, and their unique ways of expressing those pains. Some of them are funny. Some a little more dark. I wish I could write 1/10 as good as any of them.

10. You are a prolific writer. Do you have any hacks that help you write a lot in little time?

Coffee, plus everything else coffee does for you first thing in the morning.

Only write about things you either love or hate. But if you hate something, try to find a tiny gem buried in the bag of dirt so you can reach in when nobody is looking and put that gem in your pocket. Stealing a diamond in all the shit around us and then giving it away for free via writing is a nice little hack, Being fearless precisely when you are most scared is the best hack.

11. I totally get and love your idea about bleeding as a writer, appreciate if you share more with the readers of this blog.

Most people worry about what other people think of them. Most people worry about their health. Most people are at a crossroads and don’t know how to take the next step and which road to take it on. Everyone is in a perpetual state of ‘where do I put my foot next’. Nobody, including me, can avoid that.

You and I both need to wash our faces in the morning, brush our teeth, shower, shit, eat, fight the weather, fight the colds that want to attack us if we’re not ready. Fight loneliness or learn how to love and appreciate the people who want to love you back. And learn how to forgive and love the people who are even more stupid and cruel than we are. We’re afraid to tell each other these things because they are all both disgusting and true.

You and I both have the same color blood. If I cut my wrist open you can see the color of my blood. You look at it and see that it’s the same color as yours. We have something in common. It doesn’t have to be shameful. It’s just red. Now we’re friends. No matter whom you are or where you are from. I didn’t have to lie to you to get you to be my friend.

WEBSITE: http://www.jamesaltucher.com

PODCAST: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-james-altucher-show/id794030859?mt=2

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/JAltucher.Blog

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