New Twist on Toxic People

Confidence can be built and strengthened-26

This episode is all about dealing with toxic people and how to give them less power in our lives. The term “toxic people” is very common. I’m sure you’ve tried to remove toxic people from your life! So what are you saying in your mind when you label someone toxic?

I gave this some thought recently because I struggle when I think of someone else as toxic. When I looked up “toxic people” on line, here are the traits that came up: they bring you down, purposefully try to corrupt or manipulate, they impede, make it all about them, make you feel bad, they’re stressful to be around, they’re someone who complains or try to make you feel responsible for them. Something I’ve thought a lot about recently is how there are people in my life that as individuals I wouldn’t consider them to be toxic. However, they each think the OTHER is toxic. So they’re relationship with me isn’t necessarily toxic, but they definitely view each other as being toxic individuals.

What does it really mean when we label someone as “toxic”? Typically when we think of someone as being toxic, it’s because they exhibit certain traits. Number 1 on the list is narcissism. But other traits of toxic individuals are overly needy, unreliable, sneaky, too critical, backhanded complements, or undermining.

I truly believe that we teach others how to treat us. So when we consciously label someone as toxic, we’re almost giving that person permission to make our lives toxic when we are around them. If we set up boundaries and don’t give others that power, then we don’t allow the toxicity in to you our lives. It doesn’t lift us up or others in our lives up if we decide to label others.

First and foremost I think we need to stop labeling people toxic. So instead, lets all agree that we’re going to call them stress-inducing people.

Think about the first name that comes to mind when you think about a toxic person. Now think about how this person makes you feel. What does an interaction with them make you feel? Now think way back to the first time you felt this way. It’s important to understand that this person is triggering those feelings in you.

Now that you understand why this person is triggering an unhealthy response in your body, it’s time to discuss solutions. Sometimes you have to cut this person out of your life. But most of the time you need to learn how to manage that person and how to set boundaries for yourself.  We are going to dive into this in the next episode.

So before you listen to the next episode, I want you to think of 3 names that pop in to your brain when you think of toxic people. Then write down how they make you feel. What emotions come up? What’s your typical interaction like with this person? Write down as much as you can, then join me for the next episode cause we’re diving in deeper.

This episode was brought to you by the Courageous Confidence Club!  Every week I do a free webinar to teach you how to build more confidence.  If you’re interested in joining me on one of those webinars, head to to sign up!


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