How do you deal with your love one’s when it feels like they’re trying to sabotage your success? Even if they’re not sabotaging you, they’re lack of support hurts. What do you do when the people who you THINK will be excited for you react negatively? Is this the person you thought they were or are you really doing the wrong thing?
Spoiler alert: It’s not about you.
Here’s the situation: So you’ve decided to try something new – start a business, quit smoking, start a new fitness regiment, a new hobby – and you’re really excited about it. But, lo and behold, some of the people around you don’t fully support this new path that you’re blazing for yourself. That can be really upsetting! You thought the people who loved you would also love the new positive choices in your life. Well, when you break away from the herd, there’s always that feeling that you’re alone. The people who are less supportive of your choices are probably feeling “left behind”. They might think, “What’s wrong with us?” They might feel like they’re being replaced or that they’re not good enough. They’re just sad that it feels like you’re moving on and they’re staying put.
This episode isn’t about cutting people out of your life. Sometimes you simply can’t do that (family), but often times, that’s not even the best outcome. Most likely, the people around you are dealing with their own fears, so why don’t you take this as an opportunity to lead your loved ones through their fears?
Empathize with their pain.
Protectors vs. Overprotectors
Now, not everybody who offers advice or their suggestion is trying to sabotage you. Sometimes people are playing Devil’s Advocate. Sometimes they’ve been there before and want to offer some guidance. Sometimes they’re coming from a good place, but are afraid that you’ll get hurt.
So, there are overprotectors and protectors. Overprotectors don’t want you to be sad or hurt ever; they want you to avoid any unpleasant feelings. And, while they mean well, they can still derail you from your goals. Then, there are protectors – these are advisors or mentors that you trust. They might have some wisdom that could lead you to re-think your decisions, but they’re only there to ensure that you’ve thought things through. A protector is somebody that you trust 99% of the time – somebody that, until now, you trusted their judgment.
If a protector is saying, “Wait a minute”, then it’s probably time to look in the mirror, and ask yourself if you’re having an open mind about the feedback you’re getting. In the end, it doesn’t do you any good to act defensively. If you’re getting really defensive, then it’s time to sit down with a pen and a paper and write down all of the positives and negatives. Then, you know what to do!
So, in the end, make sure that you reassure the people closest to you that you still love them and that they’re not being replaced because you’re making different choices. Over time, hopefully they won’t feel like you’re judging them and, instead, they’ll feel like you love and support them. By making them feel important, you’ll be an unstoppable team!
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Hey! Did you know Build Your Tribe has been resurrected? We had so many request to revive this show, so we brought it back. Listen Now >>
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Helpful Resources:
Chalene’s Courageous Confidence Club: www.courageousconfidenceclub.com
This program gives you the tools you need to build confidence in every area of your life. You are supported by a group of people who are going through the program with you and are a sounding board for decisions and opportunities. This program will get you unstuck from your current situation and will teach you the steps needed to get your life in the direction you want!
For help with goal setting and determining your life’s priorities, check out Chalene’s 30 Day Push Program: www.30daypush.com
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