The signs of emotional intimacy issues can relate to most any kind of relationship — whether romantic or not.
Before we get into the signs of emotional intimacy, let’s first define the term.
Emotional intimacy — not in any way to be confused with physical intimacy — is a feeling of trust. It’s when we are so deeply connected to somebody that we:
- Feel safer around them
- Can be vulnerable
- Express our feelings without judgment
- Share our secrets
- Say what we need to say without worrying about risking the relationship itself
Signs Of Emotional Intimacy Issues
If in your relationship you:
- Tend to hide your emotions or feelings or feel guarded.
- Feel responsible for another person’s happiness or mood. So, you aren’t authentic because you fear how they will respond or how it will have an impact on them.
- Do things out of guilt because it feels like a responsibility/something you have to do. “We’ve been friends for five years, so I have to buy them a birthday gift!” It’s that husband who writes his wife an obligatory card for their anniversary — but the words come from an empty place.
If in your relationship you:
- Keep score. Like, you know who did fill in the blank last.
- Look for the wrong doings of others.
This one applies especially to hurt people as they are often looking at others through the lens of bias.
- Keep secrets. As in, you can’t tell your friend what you really think and feel for fear that the friendship will end.
- Withhold things from your partner you know they would want. For example, you’re not saying “I love you” first — you’re waiting for them to do it. Or, perhaps, you’re not going that extra mile by filling up her tank with gas even though you know that’s something she wants and would appreciate. Tit for tat!
- Develop an odd power dynamic. Where, for instance, one friend/partner takes on the authority role while the other friend/partner becomes almost child-like. Hence, the relationship takes on this strange playing field that consists of one person always being right and making the decisions. Said know-it-all doesn’t even realize that this is happening because the other person has become incredibly submissive — in order to maintain the peace.
For much more related to this topic, like:
- Why proximity is integral to emotional intimacy
- Examples from my marriage before we were emotionally intimate
- Why it’s so important to get on the same schedule as your partner
Then check out this episode of The Chalene Show:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows dedicated to your overall happiness — from relationships to habit to nutrition to mindset!
