Hitting the gym, getting on the right diet, finding a better wardrobe and investing in cosmetic surgery are certainly all ways to change one’s appearance. And sure, all those things can play a huge role.
That said, the #1 way to truly change one’s look must come from the inside.
Here’s something to ponder on…
Can’t you can think of people in your life who’ve changed plenty about their appearance, and yet they’re no more attractive than they ever were?
That’s because the people who will always have a beauty that never goes out of style are those who have inner confidence.
See, what you change on the outside has very little to do with how people receive you.
So, if you really want to be attractive and feel good about yourself, you’ve got to start reflecting that. When you start changing the way you feel about yourself, people will notice and begin to respond to you differently.
Take a moment and…
Think about someone who has some of the imperfections you see in yourself (e.g., maybe you believe you’re too tall, too short, too thin, not thin enough, etc.). Are you able to imagine a person with similar “flaws” — yet, it doesn’t seem to bother them at all nor is it holding them back in any capacity?
Of course you can.
Now, go to Google, enter their name into the search window and take a screenshot of this individual. This will serve as a reminder that you too could feel the same way about yourself as they likely do about themselves.
- Visualize what it would feel like to have their confidence
- Imagine being as outwardly relaxed as them
- Give your body permission to experience the freedom they exude
Save that screenshot under their name, file it into a folder of your Favorites and pull it up any time you’re desiring change.
See, when you question or doubt or think negatively about yourself, just ask,
“What would _______ be thinking in this situation?”
Sit with the question and slowly allow your similarly “flawed” soulmate’s confidence rain over you. Some might call this the alter ego effect.
The Best Time To Do This Practice?
Just before you’re about to enter a situation where you know you’re going to be hard on yourself:
- Putting on your bathing suit and heading to the beach
- Going live on Instagram
- Showing up to a big gala
- Taking your clothes off in front of your husband
Whatever that moment is for you when you start to get in your own head!
Listen, what the world sees is not what makes someone attractive or unattractive. It’s belief in yourself that makes you attractive to other people. And that starts with love for yourself.
So, the best time to do this experiment is right before one of those situations or scenarios where you know you’re about to get triggered.
Bonus tip: The night before an event that freaks you out, look at that aforementioned picture and get real with thoughts of change — just before you go to sleep.
You’ll begin to embed these beliefs into your subconscious. Fact.
If you’re looking for more on the subject of attractiveness, like:
- Tips on how to handle relationships with those who make you feel worse about how you look
- Whether or not you should consider cosmetic interventions
- Why each have our own subjective and objective idea of what’s attractive
Then, you MUST check out The Chalene Show below:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows dedicated to your overall wellbeing!