There are several components — leading to major stress — that are truly at the core of perfectionism. And today, I’d like to discuss (what I like to call) the deadly trifecta:
1) You’re the person who people trust to:
- be their go-to.
- get the job done.
- never cut corners.
- overdeliver.
- do whatever it takes to make X happen.
2) You’re a people pleaser.
3) You have high expectations for just about everything.
I give myself permission to get hung up on little details in only certain areas. But I’ve learned that if I want be happy in life, I have to drop my expectations that everything has to be:
- perfect.
- exactly as I picture it.
- the way I deem it “should.”
Because of which, I’ve had to learn to say, “good enough!” And that has been my mantra.
98% of the time your good enough is better than everybody else’s best effort.
Honestly, I bet that you just throwing something together will (almost always) be better than what anybody else can do full out. The pressure we put on ourselves — i.e., expectations you have of yourself — is where half of our stress comes from.
So, you have a choice:
- Lower your own expectations of yourself.
- Don’t lower your expectations of yourself.
Which do you think I recommend you do? It’s obvious, I know, but allow me this…
If you don’t lower your own expectations, you’ll continue to suffer because they’re going to be impossible to routinely meet.
Perfectionism.
If you have any ONE of those 3 components — go-to person, people pleaser, expectations — you’re in trouble. All three (?) and perfectionism can never lead to a happy life.
They say comparison is the thief of joy. Well, I think that perfectionism is, also, is the thief of joy.
Not to mention, a terrible trait to teach our kids.
I haven’t met a perfectionist who isn’t incredibly anxious, and routinely disappointed in themselves. Have you?
The goal of my blogs, podcasts and social media is for you to be proud of yourself, have an all-around better life and, most especially, have peace.
And you can’t have peace if you’re constantly beating yourself up for not meeting your own unrealistic expectations.
Hence, again, lower your expectations of yourself and… start practicing my mantra (write it down!),
it’s good enough!
For much more related to this topic, like:
- Examples of areas in life where I let go of perfectionism
- How to handle situations where you feel the need to be extra
- The power of perspective
Check out this episode of The Chalene Show now:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows dedicated to… you guessed it… your peace, productivity, good health and happiness!
