Depending on your source, you’ll find books, blogs and YouTubes talking about the different stages of an intimate relationship. They seem to range from 5 to 7 stages. Personally, I think there are 8 and I elaborate on all of them in my podcast below. Today’s blog, though, will focus on one such (earlier) stage, titled: Realization. Or, as I like to call it, the “Are We Doing This?” stage.
Because no two people are alike — which makes every relationship unbelievably unique — this realization stage may present itself differently from couple to couple. This is due to many factors, like:
- feelings
- experiences
- background
- past
The realization stage is when we start to see things more realistically, but, yet, we're really still into the other person.
This is often the make-it-or-break-it moment for a relationship.
Let’s imagine an example of a fearful partner.
If somebody has a fear of…
- commitment
- attachment
- being abandoned
…they may start to become:
- cold
- distant
- less dependable
- uncommunicative
So it's not uncommon for this fearful partner — in the realization stage — to put more pressure on the other person. Especially, if they're not confident that the other partner feels the same way.
And that is when they may think things, like:
“Oh, you know what? I don't like this pressure. I'm getting nervous, I'm getting scared, I'm getting cold feet.”
Certainly, they’re not going to say that — but that's what's likely to be felt. And when it does, it heightens their other flaws. Hence, oftentimes, this is when relationships separate.
How To Get Past The Realization Stage
Talk about it! If you can communicate with each other when you’re in this stage about the…
- fears that you have
- doubts that you have
- questions you're having
…this whole chapter just become a little more low-key and you can get through it. And that's a pretty cool thing!
But what is the stage that directly precedes the realization stage? Or the one that immediately follows? For that and the rest of the CAN’T-MISS stages (and my breakdown, with personal anecdotes of each), check out this episode of The Chalene Show:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows aimed at your overall happiness and wellbeing!
