Being assertive simply means you know what you want. It doesn’t mean you’re aggressive or confrontational. It just means being smart and confident enough to figure out a way to get what you want.
I’m going to share with you some tips on how to be more assertive and confident in your life. Many of us are in situations where we either feel like we can’t express our needs or ask for help, or we’re afraid of confrontation and judgment. But the truth is, it’s important to find your voice and express what you need in order to live a fulfilled life.
Change the Way You Think
The first step to being more assertive is to change the way you think about assertiveness. Stop worrying if you’ll come off as a B!tch, or “too much” as we women often fear. Think of being assertive as being an advocate for yourself and for others. It’s about being confident and smart enough to figure out a way to get what you want without causing unnecessary conflict.
Be Mindful of Erupting Emotions
The second step is to stop yourself when you feel your emotions rising. It’s natural to get emotional when you want to confront someone or express yourself, but it’s important to take a step back and think before you act. Recently, I had a situation where I felt like I wanted to confront someone. I had helped a friend in their business without expecting anything in return, but when they didn’t reciprocate, I started feeling resentful. My instinct was to call them and confront them, but I stopped myself and thought about what I really wanted. I realized that I wanted their help, but ultimately, it was okay if I didn’t get it. The world isn’t fair, and not everyone will be as giving as you are. But if we want others to be giving, we need to lead by example.
Practice Makes Perfect
The third step is to practice speaking up for yourself. It’s not always easy, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. Start by setting small goals for yourself, like speaking up in a meeting or asking for what you want in a restaurant. Practice saying no when you don’t want to do something, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Remember, it’s okay to say no. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It simply means you value yourself and your needs.
Posture & Voice
The fourth step is to be confident in your body language. How you carry yourself speaks volumes about your confidence level. Stand up straight, make eye contact, and speak clearly and confidently. When you feel confident, others will see it and respond positively.
The fifth and final step is to be true to yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to please others. Be authentic and honest, and let others see the real you. When you’re true to yourself, you’ll attract people who appreciate you for who you are.
Look, being assertive and confident is not about being aggressive or confrontational. It’s about finding your voice, speaking up for yourself, and being true to yourself. It’s about being an advocate for yourself and for others, and being confident and smart enough to figure out a way to get what you want without causing unnecessary conflict. Remember, it takes practice to be assertive, but with time and effort, you can learn to speak up for yourself and live a more fulfilled life.
We are adults and we have a right to advocate for ourselves. And if we do so early enough, it doesn’t have to be confrontational, it can be chill. Most people need to just learn to communicate earlier. It’s going to be so much more comfortable for you when you do. Then you don’t have to spend weeks, months, years or decades with resentment building up.
Just express yourself, especially if you do it early. There won’t be the same level of emotion, hostility and resentment that builds up when we let these things fester. So go out there and find your voice!
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