Stanford University researchers recently found that a person’s basic beliefs about personality contribute to whether or not they recover quickly from the pain of rejection.
Their studies reveal that people who have a fixed mindset often see themselves as unlikely to change. They tend to blame themselves when they experience rejection.
Not to mention, they have absolutely no clue that their very own traits might be the toxic reason for things not working out in certain situations.
When they experience rejection, these fixed-mindset-people tend to second-guess and criticize themselves. They think these events will happen in future relationships / situations. Which, of course, is likely to lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Meaning,
If you think X will happen, then X will happen.
The truth is, any time you’re rejected, you can’t help but feel a little insecure. But don’t feed that insecurity by talking to yourself in that negative voice (we all have her).
If you feel rejected and it’s painful, that’s a moment for you to really get connected with your individuality and remember what makes you special.
One way to do this is by plugging back into the people who light you up and make you understand how incredible you are.
Ultimately (and ideally), that needs to come from you, though.
A growth mindset combats rejection.
The aforementioned researchers found that it is, indeed, possible to look at rejection and see it as an opportunity to change, to grow.
This is made possible when you have (or develop) a growth mindset — which allows you to recover much quicker from being let down. Now, that doesn’t mean your pain will go away in an hour or that you’re not entitled to a good cry.
But yes, you’ll suffer less and heal faster from hurt with a growth mindset.
For much more on this topic, like:
- Why one rejection (that felt horrible at the time) turned into, perhaps, my greatest win in the fitness industry
- My husband’s story of major rejection while playing college football and how it, eventually, worked out in his favor
- Why it’s healthy to grieve in the middle of your rejection
- When rejection really hurts
- Why you should make a list of all the things you’re grateful for due to your rejection
Then, you must listen to The Chalene Show episode below:
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