At the end of the day, when things aren’t going well between you and your most important people, nothing else really matters. It’s just hard to feel like the world is right when there’s tension with others. Whether it be family, friends or co-workers. So, I’d like to offer the 5 Love Languages as an amazing resource to help in remedying almost any relationship in your life.
Maybe the title of this blog should’ve been,
“How to help people that we care about feel amazing and appreciated, so that, in turn, they behave towards us in a way that makes us feel amazing and supported and appreciated.”
Because ultimately, that’s the entire concept behind the book, “The Five Love Languages” — by Gary Chapman. He leans on decades and decades of his work in couples therapy.
To be clear, it’s not so much scientific analysis, but, rather, observational.
Through his expert analysis, Mr. Chapman has grouped the way almost all humans feel an emotional connection down to 5 different areas.
Words of Affirmation.
The way you feel love is when people express their affection or appreciation for you — through spoken or written words.
Acts of Service.
The way you feel love and appreciated is through actions.
The way you feel love is by receiving symbolic gifts or gestures. In a work setting, it might be a financial bonus, for example.
The way you feel appreciated and recognized is when people give you their undivided focus.
You can see how this would relate to not just your romantic relationships, but how your…
- child experiences love
- employee feels validated
- mom prefers to Zoom
It’s about recognizing those in your life who need your undistracted attention.
The way in which you feel loved is by being physically close to another. But it doesn’t have to be a sexual thing. It can just be:
- touching of hands
- gentle brush to the shoulder
- tight hug
Now, of course, this could be about true intimacy and sex — which doesn’t necessarily apply to the work setting, I hope.
Unless, of course, you’re married to the CFO, in which case it’s fine.
But what about the way in which you give love (as this blog mostly focused on how one receives love)? Perhaps you FEEL most appreciated and loved through experiencing quality time, but the way you SHOW love is by giving gifts.
And wait, is it possible to have crossover love languages?
For all that and much more related to this topic, make sure you listen to this episode of The Chalene Show now:
And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows dedicated to getting your overall life right — from relationships to sleep to nutrition to mindset!