What is self-sabotage? It’s a term you hear a lot, especially in personal development. And there’s a million different definitions. If I were to summarize it, though…
Self-sabotage is the things we do to get in our own way.
When we want to reach a goal, get to a destination, or have an objective… we muck it up. Even though, ironically, it’s something we do want to accomplish.
But the question is: Are we sabotaging intentionally or is it something that’s happening from the subconscious or is there yet another possibility?
Well, let’s figure out how to make this actionable (because, like you, I don’t have time to read a blog unless it’s going to help change my life).
Step one: Identify the thing.
What are you getting in your own way about? Maybe it’s a goal, an accomplishment, a feat, or a regular habit you’d like to establish. We’re talking major stuff that would change your life. Cleaning the garage, for example, doesn’t count. But…
- Transforming your body
- Adding a zero to the end of whatever it is you earned last year
- Fixing your marriage
Those count.
Step two: Go deep.
Ask yourself what is holding you back. And you’ve got two choices.
- You don’t have the skill (to do whatever it is that you haven’t been able to accomplish yet).
- Belief. You’ve reached some conclusion that if this thing you want actually happens, there will be a negative side effect.
Before reading on, decide on which choice applies to you.
Step three: You’ve got to freakin’ fix this.
If you decided that a belief is the root of the problem, most often it’s not something you can work through yourself. Deep rooted beliefs often have to be addressed with the help of a professional — a life coach, a psychologist, a psychiatrist. This accountability partner, if you will, can help you understand where that self-defeating belief started, and help you reprocess things so that you can learn to experience the same reality but from a different perspective.
Now, if it’s a skill playing the culprit, what are you going to do TODAY to acquire that skill?
We’ve only scratched the surface on self-sabotage! In the podcast below, I get far more detailed on each of the choices above! I’ll also discuss the area in life I’m currently self-sabotaging and, through the course of the episode, figure out how to change it. In addition, we’ll cover the quickest route to end your negative patterns.
And make sure you’re subscribed to The Chalene Show here!
3 responses to “How To End Self-Sabotage”
It’s easy to sabotage yourself when you’re trying to meet an important goal, like developing healthier habits, getting assignments done on time, saving money, managing weight, or building healthy relationships. Self-sabotage isn’t just one thing—it can have many causes—but the end result is that you get off track, mess up relationships, don’t get things done, or don’t perform as well as you would like. All of this can lead to feeling bad about yourself and expecting to fail, which leads to more self-sabotage to avoid facing failure head-on, which perpetuates the cycle.
How do you feel, I think step 3 is the most important step.
self-sabotage always breaks my personal plan.
This is the secret for me to regain balance in life.
Thank post!