If my audience is any indication, there are many older siblings out there harboring resentment. Over what, you ask? Spoiled younger siblings.
So, how exactly do you deal with it when you, the eldest child, always got tough love from your parents… but your younger sibling(s) seemed to have it so much easier?
Main tip: Drop the anger, guilt and resentment.
Because, guess what?
Younger siblings actually get the shorter end of the stick.
Hear me on this…
When the younger sibling was spoiled and mom and dad did (and maybe even still do) everything for them, they’re sent the message that they’re not:
- smart enough
- good (at fill in the blank)
And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to note that this parental treatment — if true — places said younger spoiled siblings at a real disadvantage.
But how does the younger sibling feel about the older? Well, we all have our own perspective.
The younger siblings often view the older sibling as being the favored child. After all, they had mom and dad’s undivided attention until the next child came along.
Hence, the oldest child is often viewed as the one who’s:
Therefore, oftentimes, the youngest child is trying to measure up.
Meaning, it just doesn’t serve us whatsoever to be jealous or to harbor resentment toward our siblings for things that our parents did.
Even in the healthiest of families, we’re assigned labels — just even in terms of birth order.
Whether you’re the oldest, the middle child, the youngest child, the baby… there are societal labels attached to each which aid in developing behaviors, attitudes and preconceived expectations.
My point is…
This isn’t all just about our parents. Each and every one of us wears some sort of unfair label. It is what it is.
Because of which, you have to ask yourself,
what is the point of being angry or resentful or harboring jealousy toward parents or siblings?
You can’t change the way your siblings were/are parented. And you’re not going to change who they are as people.
It’s such a strange dynamic that siblings spend so much of their relationship focused on keeping track of past:
We are never going to be happy or fulfilled trying to change our siblings.
You either accept them or you decide that they are unhealthy for you, and you limit the amount of interaction, time, attention and energy you spend with them.
For many more questions about family dynamics/drama, check out this episode of The Chalene Show:
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