What Not To Say To Someone Who Lost Weight

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As you may have heard, last week was the official release and launch party for the 131 Method book and I just can’t express my gratitude for all the love and support!

Hundreds of you have been tagging me with your 131 book selfies and, I’m not going to lie… it brought major tears! Here’s a little compilation…


Now, if you’ve posted a photo of yourself to your Instagram feed – with my book – be sure to use #131methodbook so I can find you!

And have you left a review of the book? It would mean e’rything to me if ya did! To show my appreciation, take a screenshot of your review and then send it to me on IG — and I’ll be sure to respond and possibly even feature YOU on my Story!


Podcast highlight of the week: The 3 Most Common Instagram Mistakes

In this Quick Tip Tuesday edition, Brock is going to give you the 3 most common mistakes he sees people making on Instagram. Are you the type of person who follows Instagram posting best practices? Even so, not all top IG tips work for everyone. Listen and find out if you’re that guy or gal who “best practices” just don’t apply to!


In other super exciting IG news

9 Simple Steps to Instagram Growth

Stuck on an Instagram plateau? I was! And since using IGTV (starting hardcore in January), I’ve gained 15k new followers! That’s 3 months! What the what!?

Listen, I want to teach you what I did! Why continue feeling lost in a saturated market, right? Check out this totes free tutorial on how to gain new followers using IGTV!

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What NOT To Say To Someone Who Lost Weight

We’re all a work in progress. Finding yourself guilty of saying the wrong thing to someone and, by extension, hurting her feelings is just human. It happens.

Take weight loss, for example.

Picture it: You bump into your girlfriend at Trader Joe’s. It’s been months! And she has clearly shed some pounds. So, of course, you — being the thoughtful and sweet person you are — acknowledge how many inches she has taken off. You’re impressed! But, unfortunately, her response is less than grateful. Why?

Well… could be for many reasons. Check out your headlining video to learn WHAT to say (and NOT to say) to someone who lost weight! No need to ever find yourself in an awkward situation again!


As always, I appreciate you. More than you know.




14 responses to “What Not To Say To Someone Who Lost Weight”

  1. Thank you for taking on this topic. This is a message our culture needs to hear. I lost a significant amount of weight and I found people I had known for quite a while were suddenly more friendly and inviting to me. It really took me aback. Instead of feeling flattered, I felt very disturbed. Did I not deserve just as much kindness and interest even when I has heavier?

  2. OH MY!!
    I was out of high school and had gained a little weight…..I saw someone from school and she asked me when the baby was due!!

  3. Hi! This is great, but I think if someone is a friend who has known you’ve struggled with weight issues or that she has for however long and to not comment positively would be hurtful. When I’ve lost weight and people remark some will also ask “you’ve not been sick, right?” When I say “no” they respond positively.
    When someone close doesn’t make any comment at all I start to think they’re jealous and spiteful haha.

  4. I had it all said to me… “You’ve lost weight! Are you pregnant? You’re waaaay to skinny and need to put weight back on! What happened to your face? Your legs are too skinny. Looks like you’ll never get rid of your tummy no matter how much weight you lose. All my life, but interestingly it all seemed to stop once I hit 50. I still have skinny legs, a little belly, and I still struggle with keeping the weight off.

  5. Sooo accurate. I ran into an acquaintance and very enthusiastically told her how amazing she looks! (she has lost at least 50 lbs) her immediate reaction was a forced smile, “ermm, thanks, divorce can do that ya.” I felt like a piece of s*$#! I’ve since programmed myself to say just that ! “It’s so lovely seeing you, I hope you’re doing well.”

  6. I was very ill due to stress and an abusive relationship and was basically skin and bones. It was amazing to me how many people told me how lucky I was that I couldn’t eat!!! Luckily, with great friends, I was able to get out of the situation and come back from it all. But, I was so thin and unhealthy that if I hadn’t gotten out of it, I really think I could have died within 6 months.

    You are so right!!! You have no idea what is going on with a person and we just need to surround them with love.

  7. I had one of my fitness class students say, you lost something, and I said, oh what???
    she says, “your belly”, I NEVER liked that woman after that. I think it was rude. I don’t like any comments about my body. UGH. People can be idiots.

  8. A few years ago, I lost 30 lbs inexplicably. Had tons of tests done, but we never really figured out why. I have gotten ALL the comments from “you are too thin” to “I wish I had your body” to “you are so lucky.” It really has affected how I view myself. Sometimes I think I am too thin. Sometimes I am scared that I am gaining too much weight back. It’s a weird place to be. Your message is right on in every way.

  9. Wonderful words! Love this!!! It is sooooo true! We automatically think they want to hear that they look great (!). And, yet we have no idea how they are feeling inside. They could not be eating because they are depressed. Or they have an illness. Or they are going thru a break-up. Or any number of things that cause weight loss that were not intended! Or, it could be an eating disorder. So wrong to focus on how people ‘look.’ Thank you for this reminder!

  10. This happened to me, and it made me feel terrible! A coworker said “oh my gosh you’ve lost so much weight!” And then she looked right at my stomach, and her eyes got really big, and she said “like a lot.” I felt so self conscious, and a million thoughts started running through my head. Did I look so terrible before? Do I not look good now? Why did she look at my stomach? It was so uncomfortable!

  11. Chalene! Giirl… You are so spot on about the weight loss compliments. I’m the type that overthinks when someone says something about my weight. I’m on a healthful journey and so I hear A LOT of women tell me I lool great, but I I’m like, Thanks? I’ve always looked great. 😜

  12. About 6-7 years ago I finally lost 85 pounds and have been able to keep it off by working to think differently about myself — but often have had to move away from some of my previous “friends”. I heard comments from “you look so good — keep it up!” to “did you have bypass surgery?” I was incredulous! And I continue to hear those comments in my mind and heart from time to time and wonder, as Lauren Karnowski said, “Did I look so terrible before?” “Do I not look good now?” “What if I gain a couple pounds?” What if my weight shifts or I can’t keep working out for some reason or…”
    Even my husband, in an effort to help has said things like he “likes me so much better now.”

    Thank you, Chalene, for saying out loud what I’ve felt was only My Problem.

  13. Love the simple re-phrasing to “it’s great to see you” rather than “you look great”. I would add on the open-ended “how are you doing? what’s new” which allows people to respond as they wish at that time and in that situation. Things may be great and they’ll say so, or they may appreciate being able to share or open up more as I’ve left that door open to them.

    Thanks Chalene for what you do!

  14. I recently lost 55 pounds, and I get a lot of the “You look great” comments, but I also get a lot of people asking if I’m sick! That’s the one that bothers me because I think I must look awful if they’re saying that! You’re so right—the comments really can mess with a person’s head!

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