Why Self-Care isn’t Selfish

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Here’s what I think: self-care has been marketed all wrong. Like, we’ve actually lost the purpose of it. Turning it into something superficial that somehow makes us feel selfish, guilty, self-conscious, not worthy.

Self-care has been positioned as expensive:

  • skincare routines
  • trips to the day spa
  • hairstyles and treatments
  • luxurious massages

You get the idea.

But honestly, all that has nothing to do with caring for one’s self. What you should be thinking about when someone says self-care is your health.

So, from this point forward, if you take away nothing else from this blog, I want you to replace the term self-care with improved health.

Therefore, any step that you take to improve your spiritual, mental or physical well-being is self-care.

Self-Care Isn't Selfish and should Be Thought of as Improved Health

As I regularly do, I took to Instagram and asked a question (to guide this blog)…

why it is you don’t regularly prioritize your self-care?

You said because :

  • It feels selfish
  • No money
  • Mom guilt
  • You’re not worthy
  • It’s unnecessary
  • You have no help

But — the number one reason why you said you don’t engage in self-care is because you…

Don’t have the time.

This is why self-care is so hard for so many. However, I think it goes deeper than this. It really boils down to how I began this blog…

We’ve portrayed this practice, if you will, to be self-indulgent and, frankly, something rich white women do.

Hence, the only way to really understand why self-care isn’t selfish — at all — is to truly redefine this term.

Ask yourself what things you do that just make you feel:

  • better
  • rejuvenated
  • relaxed
  • balanced
  • grounded
  • restored
  • joyful
  • less stressed
  • peaceful
  • liberated
  • younger

In other words, what things can you do that make you feel new again?

Self-Care is Not Selfish but About Bettering Yourself With Things That Make You Feel New Again

Personal anecdote: When I consider all those adjectives (above), the first thing that comes to mind isn’t expensive skincare or getting my nails done or roots dyed.

For many people, those things may fall under the category of self-care, but to me that’s just maintenance. Like, I don’t feel like that’s treating myself.

But when I think about all those words (e.g., younger, energized, happier, refreshed, more like myself)…what comes to mind is:

  • roller skating
  • hanging out with girlfriends who make me pee my pants laughing
  • listening to a podcast in the morning while I take a walk outside

When we begin to look at self-care differently — as in, not selfish, but, rather, healthy! —  we’ll show up better in our lives.

For those we love and, most importantly, ourselves.

For much more related to this topic, like:

  • The time I lost my self-care
  • Why/how boundaries improve one’s health
  • My permission to be intentional about doing things that make you feel good

Then, you must check out The Chalene Show episode below:

And don’t forget to subscribe to TCS for weekly shows dedicated to your overall good health and wellbeing. In others words, your self-care!


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