Why We Worry About What Others Think

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Worry. As encyclopedia.com defines, “give way to anxiety or unease” – literally giving your thoughts permission to run recklessly into nonsensical territory.

In what situation do you worry about what others are thinking?

Is it…

  • When you’re live on Facebook?
  • How you run your business?
  • With your parenting?
  • Your body image?
  • All things at all times?

When You Worry What Others Think We're Guessing

When we worry about what other people think, we’re guessing. There’s no way we could ever know. No matter how much we think we do, we don’t! #truth


Because you don’t know what triggers anybody. What past experiences (i.e., memories) are responsible for making them think the way they think. 

You’ve done this before where you’re wondering, “Are they gay or are they straight?” You don’t care, but you’re like, “I need to process this. How old are they? Do they live here? Are they from the south? Do they always…

We want to know more information because our brain hates ambiguity. It likes very specific things so that we can process. It’s not to judge. I mean, well, maybe that’s for some people. But, for most of us, the reason why we want to know more is about having information to process.

Now, what I’m about to tell you is going to sting a little bit, but it’s only because I love you. The reason why we worry about what other people think is because we don’t have something else to worry about. Let that sink in for a second.

People who are very busy with their own lives and dreams worry very little about what other people think.

The reason why we do that – and this is going to sting a little bit, too –  is we’re underdeveloped.

This is just the truth. An underdeveloped individual will worry about what other people think because it’s where they go for instant gratification.

We often say that we worry about what others think because we’re people pleasers, right? But I don’t want you to confuse people pleasing with kindness. People pleasers are dream chasers. You’re never going to accomplish that dream. It’s an underdeveloped way of being – because you’re so worried about pleasing other people simply because it’s instant gratification.

There’s nothing you can do to change what other people think. So, when you start focusing on doing that impossible task, guess what creeps in? Self-doubt. And when we have self-doubt, we get weak.

Self-doubt is weakness. Meaning, boundaries come down. And then we let other people’s agendas become our focus.

You can’t please everyone. You have to allow people not to like you. You have to allow people to be upset with you.

You Can't Please Everyone So Don't Worry What They're Thinking

In the end, it’s not about stopping to care about what people think. Rather, it’s about being free from caring about something you simply cannot know. That something – worry – robs you of your own dreams and instill fears in you.

And you don’t have time for that.

For more on this topic, check out this The Chalene Show episode!


2 responses to “Why We Worry About What Others Think”

  1. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening.

    I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this information together.
    I once again find myself spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting.
    But so what, it was still worth it!

  2. Hi !

    I would add another perspective. Sometimes, we worry about what others think because it may trigger past traumas such as harassment, bullying, or any other painful experience from daily life.

    We can learn to go through this and do it anyway… Worry may fade away. If not, I’ve always encouraged to seek for a professional help as soon as possible.

    Thanks a lot for this message Chalene.

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